You.

are fantastic.
And there's nothing else I would want,
but you.

So, there you go. =)
You get what I mean, right?

Pebble!

Such an interesting mp3.
Today was one of the rare Fridays that,
was not a happy Friday.
Sad. :(

Although I did bother to run again :)
And tried to melontar peluru.

And happy one three.

Sudden Epiphany?

The Awakening
Sonny Carroll

A time comes in your life when you finally get it.
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

Tolerate.

Hello people.
I want to clarify something!
Or perhaps, to ask something?
The question;
I, Bimbo or not?

Wikipedia says: Bimbo is a term that emerged in popular English language usage in the early 20th century to describe an often attractive, non-intelligent woman.

To start off with, I am definitely not described as, attractive.
=_______= BIMBOES ARE ATTRACTIVE OK? I am not. Period.

Uh, about the non-intelligent part.
I wouldn't say I'm super smart with super brains that can calculate in nanoseconds,
But I am not. I repeat! NOT DUMB.
I, at least know abit of Chemistry here and there, can still manage AddMath, and finish my homework everyday!
Well, most of the time anyway.

See, I. Am. Not. Bimbo.
I feel actually disturbed everytime somebody says I'm bimbo.
Or dumb, or stupid for that matter.
Not offended, but I guess I'll be pondering on the fact for a very long time.
Wondering, am I really so bimbo?

Maybe sometimes I do make bimbo statements without thinking,
Or occasionally I get hyped up and high about something that it occurs to people as bimbo,
Or there are the times where I see a hot fella and start like, swooning.

BUT ALL THESE DOESN'T PROVE THAT I AM AN ATTRACTIVE AND NON INTELLIGENT WOMAN.

Oh, by the way. I am a Librarian, a debater and a class representative.
WHICH OF THOSE THREE SCREAMS BIMBO?!
I am seriously so curious to know. Please, if anyone knows, tell me.

Wow, talking about it really gets me heated up.
I just don't want to be labelled bimbo.
The occasional joke would be okay, but I don't want to be known as.
Carmen the Bimbo. -.-
As Rachel taught me, its an insult.

So please. If I don't do anything bimbotic, please.
Do not call me a bimbo.
Its a warning. Not a statement.

On a side note though, do notice the picture above.
I really like the girls hair.
Perhaps I should get something like that?
Then again, she's Caucasian. =.=
And later people start saying I bimbo again.

No lah, people who say that I bimbo in a good way.
As in they know I jokingly bimbo around, thats really ok!
Like Sharon and Shalinee! LOL
But people who really insult me with the word bimbo,
i give you.

:(

Saint Valentine, Come Save Me?

Its Valentine's Day!
What does it mean.
It means I'm tired.
It's been a long day.

loveyoubooooooooooooo.

We Got The Choice, If It All Goes Wrong, We Walk.

It makes you feel good!
Ok I'm gonna crap here!
The purpose of a blog to me, is really to 1) express thoughts and 2) release stress. Ok so now I really stress liaw. LOL PeiShe taught me about liaw. I'm so stressed I'm even using liaw.

OMG. Discipline is a state of mind.
If your goals are near enough to reach, then it's not big enough to be a goal.
Uh uh, the mind is a powerful object. =___= I crap when I'm stressed.

Oh, Guess Who Batman by Lily Allen is a chunted song. Its so chun, it can make you fly high!
Lily Allen is British. British people are hot. :D Like, Ed Westwick hahahahaha.

Today is a very chun day also.
Like, super chun?
I found out that palashanshunda makes bombs :D
And and uh. Today I had a pooping sensation =.=
Pink is hot. No, not the colour. The singer.
The SO WHAT SO WHAT singer.

Oh my goodness, I am so amazed at myself. I'm like crapping non stop. Anything that comes straight to my mind. Its actually a really good stress-release technique. OMG tomorrow is like merentas desa HAHAHAHA I'm aiming for #79. I probably told so many people why already so I lazy to say here. ASK ME AND I WILL MAKE YOU DROP DEAD :D

Why isn't Merentas Desa, like CROSS VALLEY?
Why is it Cross COUNTRY?
Why isn't it Merentas Negara?
T________T WHY?
I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY OMG.

I need anti-depressants!
And I ate roti canai today!
Like, so cool? :D
My ability to crap is outstanding.
Say my name, sun shines through the rain!

CHEER UP BABY, KAY!? O_________O

Wth man. =______= This is totally killing me!
Cheer up baby, kay?!?!
What does this mean?
Jl and I have been figuring it out all night!

Ok, on a side note.
You're the best I could ever have, monster.
You've always been.
I'm so glad you've been there for me for so long.
And I apologise for every single stupid thing I did.
:( :( :( I know I blame you for being selfish, when I am, too.
I'm a fool, baby.
A fool for you.

You're So Sad, You Need A Happy Meal.

Ah, told you. After Fridays I'm never happy.
Looking back, its been a while since I last wrote an emo post.
What to do, I'm a jovial person -.-

Sometimes, the feeling of people not taking what you say seriously,
hurts.

And especially when that someone means alot to you.
Its not that I'm being taken for granted.
Its just the feeling as if I'm a small kid, and nobody listens.
Maybe because it sounds so unreal that you don't believe what I say.

But I assure you, with every piece of my heart,
its so true.
I love you.

I hate it when you push what I say away.

Cause Everybody Knows

Hello!
Its been a really good day today, really.
Well, first, its Friday. I have no idea whether I've mentioned this before but I love Fridays. Friday is the day I look most forward to, among all the days. Well, in fact I make a countdown every week from Saturday all the way to the next Friday because Friday's are amazing! Friday is the day where there's less one period, and there's house practice, and its when I always stay back in school even if there's no reason for me to. See? Friday is a good, wonderful day. Its also the day, excluding weekends, where I'm not lazy to put on contact lenses. How great is Friday?

And today, this particular Friday is even better. I'm really proud of myself for straining and pushing and motivating myself to finish something I really thought I couldn't. But I did, and I'm proud. :D :D :D Triple smilies mean I'm so happy even if you hate me, I'll love you back. But of course, don't hate me. ): I can sad one, even if its Friday.

Oh, what else? Well, it wasn't Friday BUT WHO CARES! I interviewed for something yesterday I've never considered my whole life before, and I guess it really broaden my choices about my future. Yeah, til now I'm still indecisive on what I plan to do. This will, hopefully, expand my views =.= ok I realise nothing I say now actually makes real sense.

BUT WHO CARES ITS FRIDAY, EVERYTHING SENSELESS WILL MAKE SENSE TOO. LIKE, DUHHHHH -_____________- lol. Kidding?

Oh, this was not taken on Friday, but close. We were all in the Friday spirit already anyway. :D


And The Ting Tings are like so cool, can die. I have something for their British slang, so, so attractive. Oklah gtg bai. :D ohno, :( Friday is overrr. Now I'm starting my weekly countdown again. :(

Fugu Fugu!

So fat! :D

Gosh.
I'm so tempted to try out fugu if I ever go to Japan.
I mean, whats life without risks?

Fugu is actually pufferfish sashimi, but you must get a license to serve it.
=.= because the stupid fish is poisonous.



Wikipedia: Because pufferfish is lethally poisonous if prepared incorrectly, fugu has become one of the most celebrated and notorious dishes in Japanese cuisine.

So what right, if you die? At least you got a taste of it :D
But hey, wouldn't it be dumb if you died because of a fish? =.=
Ok lah, I'm being totally random now.
BYE BYE BYE BYE BYEEEE!